Our Last OB Appointment Before Delivery

Well, it's Tuesday January 6th and we went to our last OB doctor appointment before our delivery. We asked alot of questions and so did the doctor. I have to admit I am very scared. My doctor asked me if I wanted to have the baby monitored during delivery. I asked what he meant. He said normally we monitor the baby's vitals and if the heartrate declines or there is a problem, they do an emergency c-section. So I had to make a decision that if my son's life is failing that I would rather not know and choose to have a c-section. My doctor is very much against c-section because it is a major surgery and it would be too much for me to go through physically on top of my emotional pain. He suggested that Elisha not be monitored, and it was so very very difficult for me to agree with that, but I did. I honestly do not know what I would do if he is born still. I have waited this long to meet my son alive. All I can do is pray I get time with him. Then he did an internal exam and I am not dialted nor am I effaced...so basically I am closed up like Fort Knox! Then he checked to see Elisha's position and because of the shape of his head, he could not tell his positions. If Elisha was in a transverse position than the only option would be a c-section, then I was really terrified because that was his position for most of the ultrasounds. He sent me to the hospital to get an ultrasound to check his position. Thank GOD he is head down. I loved seeing him on the ultrasound one more time, he was kicking and moving away. It was wonderful. So the current status is go to the hospital Sunday night between 6pm and 7pm where they will start me on Cervadil to soften my cervix so it will dialate easier. Them Monday morning they will start me on Pitocin to induce my labor. I pray it is quick with minimal pain, but I know that is a shot in the dark. Right now Elisha is kicking me under my ribs, I jut cant beleive in less than a week I will be holding him in my arms. The ultrasound technician said he weighs approx 5lbs3oz. Also my blood pressure has been climbing the last few visits. It normally runs around the low one teens over 60-70's and today it was 135/88...he said it was dangerous if it goes up over 140/90. So we will wait to see what emotions tomorrow brings.