Elisha Enrique Ramirez: 6 days left....

Monday, January 5, 2009

6 days left....

Today is Monday January 5, 2009 and I am 37 weeks 1 day pregnant. We have 6 days left until we make our way to the hospital to deliver our son Elisha. It has been a VERY long journey. As the days near, it is becoming more difficult. My son is inside of me moving and punching and kicking, and I love every minute of it. I asked the doctor why it is that he can be SO very active inside of me, yet when he is born he is going to be unconsious? He explained that he is living off of me, his mother, through the umbilical cord, that is how he breaths and functions...once that cord is cut, he must rely on his brain to tell his body to breath and eat and suck, etc... Right now I am giving my son life, he is living through me. In six short days, he will be removed from my body and on his own, and I am terrified. I still pray everyday for a miracle of complete healing, I pray everyday for God's will to be done in my life and his. I pray for as much time as I can borrow of my sons life to have him, hold him, and tell him everything that I need to tell him. I want to bath him, and try to feed him at least once. I pray he poo poo's once so I can wipe his dirty bum and change his pamper. I pray that God gives me the strength and peace I need to make it through this. I did not spend my time with my son angry with God wondering WHY and HOW could this happen to me...AGAIN at that. I know and accept that it is not for me to understand...and if God choses, he will let me know why..and if not here on Earth, when I pass this life and enter glorious Eternity, I will have a chance to ask Him why did this happen. But for now, I need to spend what time I have left not angry, but cherishing every moment I have with my son, Elisha. Because in one week, I will look back and I want to know in my heart that my son knew that he was loved and he did not hear his mommy weaping while he was in her tummy. His time here will be short, and I need to give him the very best life he can have, with no regrets. I am honestly very ready for this pregnancy to be over with, it has been physically hard on me, but I am NOT ready to let go of my son. I know that when he gets to Heaven his big sister Alexis with meet him there, and take her around...and when he gets there he will be perfect and whole. Elisha baby mommy loves you.

5 comments:

AnonymousJanuary 5, 2009 at 9:20 PM
I love you Shelley! And I am here for you ALWAYS!! Everything happens for a reason, and tho right now it isn't clear, one day it will. You have to be one of the strongest women I have ever known in my life. I look up to you. I pray for you and Elisha - God will take care of you. Lean on Him!! I love you xoxo BFF
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AnonymousJanuary 5, 2009 at 10:07 PM
Shelley that was just absolutely poetic. You are a pillar of strength and wisdom. There are no words to express how amazing you have been throughout your journey no matter how hard it has been for you. You have continued to remain faithful to the Lord. Reading your passage broke my heart in so many pieces. I wish you the healing that you will need to get through this. Blessings to you and your family...Towanna aka, ChicMommy_1 from WTE
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AnonymousJanuary 6, 2009 at 11:30 AM
Shelley, I hope you know if you need anything I will be there just give me a call. :) I have to agree with Tiffany, you are by far the strongest person I think I have ever met, coming from a mother of three I just don't know if I could endure as much pain as you have in the last two years. Girl keep your head up and stay strong, GOD has a plan for you :) Lot's of Love Becky :0)
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AnonymousJanuary 6, 2009 at 4:44 PM
Shelley, our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. You are such a strong person! Remember. . . God only gives us what we can handle. You have gone through so much and will become even stronger in the end.

Enjoy your time with Elisha!!
A friend from WTE
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AnonymousJanuary 11, 2009 at 6:44 PM
Shelley,ALWAYS in ALL WAYS our Lord is our LORD,but among woman you have became my hero. I'M HERE FOR YOU. Ms.Lori
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What is Anencephaly?

Anencephaly is a neural tube defect like Spina Bifida, but instead of he neural tube not closing in the spine it fails to close in the cephalic portion or the top of the spinal column. When this happens the brain and the top of the head cannot complete forming. So the top of the head is exposed openly to the brain. With Anencephaly there is typically not much more brain than a brain stem, sometimes more. The skull and skin does not form above the eyes, ears and back of the neck. Anencephaly is one of the most sever nerual tube defects, and there is no cure, and is a disorder that is "incompatible with life". Babies who make it to term will pass away within minutes or hours after birth. Most babies do not cry and are unable to suck or swallow to eat.

Ventricular Septal Defect (VSD)

The septum is a wall that separates the heart's left and right sides. Septal defects are sometimes called a "hole" in the heart. A defect between the heart's two lower chambers (the ventricles) is called a ventricular septal defect (VSD).
When there is a large opening between the ventricles, a large amount of oxygen-rich (red) blood from the heart's left side is forced through the defect into the right side. Then it's pumped back to the lungs, even though it's already been refreshed with oxygen. This is inefficient, because already-oxygenated blood displaces blood that needs oxygen. This means the heart, which must pump more blood, may enlarge from the added work. High blood pressure may occur in the lungs' blood vessels because more blood is there. Over time, this increased pulmonary hypertension may permanently damage the blood vessel walls.
If the opening between the ventricles is small, it doesn't strain the heart. In that case, the only abnormal finding is a loud murmur.