Friday, March 27, 2009

Alexis Faith Ramirez

I know this is Elisha's blog, but I have Alexis heavy on my heart. Alexis' birthday is tomorrow March 28th. She would be two years old. I can remember every inch of her and how she felt in my arms...or should I say hands just like it was yesterday. I often look around the house and picture her running around and being silly. She was so beautiful, perfect, and tiny. God gave me two perfect little angels. I know alot of you do not really know about my daughter. We found out we were pregnant a month after Enrique proposed to me, September of 2006. We found out by amniocentesis she had Triploidy at out 20 week appointment. I will never forget that day, and that feeling I had. A normal person has 46 chromosomes...13 from mom and 13 from dad. Alexis had 69 chromosomes...which made her "incompatible with life". I chose to carry her until the Lord took her. I was not going to take her life. Six weeks later I started making phone calls and preparing myself so if she came early I would not have to worry about her funeral things and etc. On that Friday of that week, my husband came to my job and brought me flowers and chocolates because he knew I was having a hard time and I was sad. I looked at him and told him I needed to get away. He asked what I meant...and I told him I wanted to leave right NOW and go away..far away. He said I was crazy. Well 1 hour later I had left my job and he called into work and we were on our way to Stone Mountain Georgia. On our drive up (7 hours) I told him when we came back we would have Alexis. He told me again I was crazy. I had a fetal doppler so I would know the moment she passed. I never felt her move or kick my whole pregnancy. I checked her heartbeat once a morning and once at night. I had checked it Sunday morning before we left to go back home. Sunday night when we arrived back home she was gone. Monday morning I went to work...and waited for the doctors office to open at 9am, and went and told my boss that I was pretty sure my daughter had died...I went to the doctor. The nurse practitioner checked and found no heartbeat. I was then sent to labor and delivery at the hospital, where an ultrasound confirmed her death. I was induced like I was with Elisha...and two days later I delivered Alexis Faith Ramirez. She was 9 inches long and weighed 8.5 ounces. The doctors said she would have sooo many physical abnormalities...but she was absolutely perfect. Just very tiny. I just needed to talk about my daughter...and remember her, thank you all for listening. Alexis mommy and daddy love you baby girl, you are in our hearts forever and we will be together again one day. Happy Birthday sweet girl.

Monday, March 9, 2009


Hello friends and family. Sorry I have not been on here or updated in a while. I cannot believe how quickly time goes by. When I close my eyes, I can still feel him kicking inside. I just miss him. We have decided that in April we are going to stop protecting against getting pregnant. We are not going to per-say "try", but we are not going to do anything to prevent it. I am not going to stress about it, and I am going to leave it in God's hands for Him to do His will. I thank God He has given me the ability to deal with this as I have. I am thankful that I can go into public and not feel angry, or jealousy...and I can see another pregnant mommy and truly be happy for them. Only God could have gave me that ability. I am on a wonderful Anencephaly support group, all of which are mommies that have chosen to carry and not terminate. I wanted to share with you all the story of Faith Hope. She is a TRUE miracle. Any gift of life is a miracle, but this will touch your heart. She is a beautiful baby born with Anencephaly she is 18days old today! Here is her blog . Please visit it. Doctors say our children had NO chance of any life at all what-so-ever. I can tell you EVER life has a chance...only God has the last word. She cries, she moves, she giggles, she eats, and she can hear. All of which an Anencephalic baby is not supposed to do.
I have only two regrets with my son. One, that I should have asked for a stethascope to hear my sons heartbeat. He never took a breath, but his heart I know was strong. Two, I do not know if they did anything at birth to stimulate him to breath, I wonder if I would have done something if he would have taken a breath. Those things I will never get back. Not a day goes by I dont think of those things.

To all of you who are still keeping up with our story, and still praying for our family...thank you so much. It means so much. Thank you for letting our son take part in your life. God Bless.